Breakup Buddy — Cohabitation Untangler

Overview

When a cohabiting relationship ends, the emotional work gets all the attention, but the logistical work is what actually ruins the following three months: who keeps the sofa bought together, the Netflix account still joint, the car insurance policy that auto-renews in two weeks, the utility bill in one person's name at an address they no longer live at. Shared lives accrete joint objects and joint accounts silently; unwinding them requires decisions about hundreds of items and dozens of accounts while both parties are at their worst negotiation capacity.

This skill is a structured untangling system:

1. Shared catalog — every shared physical item with purchase price, date, purchaser, and current condition; splitting proceeds by agreed rules instead of vibes.
2. Account audit — inventory of shared digital accounts/subscriptions/services, each flagged KEEP-MINE / TRANSFER / CANCEL / DISPUTE with renewal dates so nothing auto-renews into next year.
3. Split-expense settle-up — final reconciliation of who paid for what since move-in or since an agreed cutoff; net one-payment settle instead of relitigating history.
4. Moving logistics — who moves when, what handoffs happen, deposit recovery, key/ access device return.
5. Legal-adjacent checklist — lease-breaking steps, name changes on utilities, forwarding mail, joint-tax-year notes. Informational, not legal advice.

When to Use

• A cohabiting relationship (romantic or long-term roommate) is ending and property/accounts must be divided
• Moving out of a shared apartment with joint bills and a joint lease
• Divorce-adjacent untangling of digital accounts (banking apps, streaming, cloud storage, family plans)
• Roommate exit audit: shared furniture, shared kitchen gear, deposit split
• Don't use for: dividing a deceased person's estate (different legal regime — see digital-legacy), business partnership dissolution (different law), or actual legal advice — this organizes decisions, it doesn't make them legally binding.

How It Works

1. Catalog items — item add records shared purchases: name, price, date, payer, who principally uses it, sentimental flag.
2. Split decisions — split runs the negotiated settlement: alternate-picks draft (like a sports draft — provably fair), buy-out pricing (one keeps the sofa, pays half equity), or sell-and-split.
3. Audit accounts — accounts manages shared accounts with action flags and renewal dates; accounts --due 60 lists what renews in 60 days and still has no action decided.
4. Settle expenses — settle computes net balance from recorded shared expenses and prints the single settling payment + receipt line.
5. Move-out plan — moveout generates the dated checklist: notice dates, handoff events, utility name changes, deposit demand letter.
6. Report — report prints the full untangling status: items decided/undecided, accounts pending action, settle-up balance, move-out blockers.

Commands

# Shared catalog
python3 scripts/untangle.py item add "Sofa" --price 1200 --date 2024-03-15 --payer both \
    --user her --sentimental no
python3 scripts/untangle.py item add "Record player" --price 400 --payer him --user him --sentimental yes
python3 scripts/untangle.py item list

# Fair split via alternating draft
python3 scripts/untangle.py split draft --seed 20260101
python3 scripts/untangle.py split buyout          # equity-based buyout prices
python3 scripts/untangle.py split list

# Shared accounts
python3 scripts/untangle.py account add "Netflix" --type subscription --renews 2026-11-01 \
    --owner both --action transfer
python3 scripts/untangle.py account add "Gas bill" --type utility --owner him --action rename
python3 scripts/untangle.py accounts --due 60

# Expense settle-up
python3 scripts/untangle.py expense add "October rent" 950 --payer her --shared-with him
python3 scripts/untangle.py expense add "Movers deposit" 300 --payer him --shared-with her
python3 scripts/untangle.py settle

# Move-out plan
python3 scripts/untangle.py moveout --move-date 2026-10-01 --notice-days 30
python3 scripts/untangle.py report

Storage: single untangle.json in cwd (or --db path). 100% local — this data is among the most sensitive there is.

Splitting Rules

Sentimental items are excluded from draft/buyout automation — they must be resolved by explicit agreement (item edit --to him/her).

Common Pitfalls

1. Forgetting auto-renewing joint subscriptions. The #1 post-breakup leak. Always run accounts --due 90 before the final conversation and kill/transfer everything inside 90 days.
2. Splitting by purchase price, not equity. A $1,200 sofa 18 months old is worth maybe $500. split buyout uses depreciated value (configurable rate) — splitting list price overpays the keeper.
3. Leaving one name on a lease. Even after move-out, lease liability persists until the lease ends or a formal release. Track it in moveout until signed release is confirmed.
4. Settling with vibes. "You owe me like $800" invites counter-memory. Record every shared expense in expense add and let settle print the single net number.
5. Doing this without a paper trail. report output is timestamped and itemized — attach it to any mediation or small-claims process.

Verification Checklist

• All shared items cataloged with payer and user
• Split rule chosen and run; sentimental items resolved manually
• Every shared account has an action flag and (if renewing) a decision before renewal
• accounts --due 90 returns empty
• Net settle-up balance computed and single payment recorded
• Move-out checklist generated; notice/forwarding/utility steps dated
• Final report printed and archived